“You can’t go back and change the beginning,
but you can start where you are and change the ending.”
– C.S. Lewis
New Year's Resolutions? Seriously?!
With a New Year upon us, the age-old question you might be asking is, “What are my New Year’s resolutions?” Even if you are not wanting or willing to play this game, it is still a question that is difficult to avoid, albeit easy to ignore. Regardless of what side of the New Year’s resolution fence you find yourself, we can all agree that this past year has birthed, surfaced, or exacerbated challenges beyond our usual perception of normalcy. For some, it has been severe Covid-19 anxiety, or worse, dealing with yourself or a loved one who has suffered its wrath. Financial instability, crumbling mental health, or a diminished social circle might also be getting in the way of your happiness and productivity. As Captain Obvious might say, “It has been a challenging year for many, many people.” Let us help make 2021 be a year of improvement for ourselves and each other, because why the heck not?
A New Year’s Resolution is an Act of Empowering Self-care
The dictionary defines the word “resolution” as a noun meaning “a firm decision to do or not to do something.” The operative word in this definition is “decision.” There seems to be something innately empowering about the word decision concerning a New Year’s resolution. After all, YOU create the list of changes you would like to see for yourself, not anyone else. Then, YOU get to make a choice, the decision to see it to fruition. Not because your boss or spouse told you to do it, but instead because YOU asked yourself to do it, because you care about yourself. Also, it is worth noting that it is easier to care for others when you take better care of yourself.
Why Do New Year's Resolutions Often Fail?
In a not-so-scientific study, I asked several people why they feel their past resolutions have failed. After combing through many conversation notes, coupled with careful analysis, I have spotted a common denominator for resolution failures: their resolutions were simply too broad, too general, or just too grandiose. For example, if you say your New Year resolution is to lose a bunch of weight, you may find this resolution sadly unachievable. Although “to lose weight” is a great goal, it is too broad, lacking specific, actionable items.
An Actors Approach to Behavioral Psychology
As a student actor at university, I spent semester after semester learning how to do character analysis’ for different roles found in plays for the stage or screen. Good character analysis helps an actor better understand the role they have been asked to play. A key benefit to this work is it clues the actor in on what the character wants, how they will try to get what they want, and the knowledge of what is stopping them from achieving their desire. To deeply understand a play’s character is analogous to learning about human behavior and human psychology. Additionally, the more we study dramatized characters, the more we examine ourselves, for it is inevitable that you will look inward. The following section will break down the fundamentals of character analysis, which will best enable successful New Year resolutions.
Self-analysis and How to Create an Action Plan
In his seminal 1936 publication, THE ACTOR PREPARES, Konstantin Stanislavski introduces us to a new character analysis method. Stanislavski teaches us the important differences between what a character wants to achieve by the end of the play (super-objective) and what she wants to achieve or acquire in each scene, usually from another character (objective). Next, the actor must determine the specific procedures her character must take to achieve their objective (actions) and the necessary methods or techniques required to accomplish the actions (tools). Finally, she must be aware of the possible challenges suppressing her character from achieving their desired actions or the ability to use the required tools (obstacles).
As business professionals, as humans, we are characters in our own right, living out our very own play. In the case of our lives, rather than in a written play, we get to shape much of our story as we live our lives, a truly precious reality and, at times, daunting responsibility. As previously mentioned, resolutions are a choice, a decision that we get to make for the sake of our personal growth. Sometimes, however, the resolutions we express are just too broad, aka super-objectives. In this case, the resolution lacks a path, a strategy for success. This year try using Stanislavski’s system to better articulate and achieve your New Year’s resolutions.
Note: In character analysis, actors usually equate their super-objective and objectives with what they want from the other characters in the play. Let us pretend for a moment that our script has to do with you, the main character, wanting a promotion at work. An actor will phrase this objective to articulate from which person they need to acquire said desire. They might say, for example, “I want my boss to give me a promotion,” rather than “I want a promotion.” It is far more actionable and interesting to fight to get something from someone than only to say what you want. To apply this philosophy to the following process, try referring to yourself in the third person. Referring to yourself in the third person is a powerful mindset that can help you motivate yourself because, after all, you are working, fighting to acquire something from and for yourself.
Example: The following is an example of Stanislavski’s system being used to help accomplish a New Year’s resolution. Our character’s name in this example is Charles. As per our earlier example, Charles wants to lose weight. However, is losing weight his super-objective? No. The reason Charles wants to lose weight is his super-objective. Remember, Charles is writing the following in the third person.
Disclaimer: I am not a fitness specialist, and this is merely an example. Try to apply this method to any changes you would like to happen for you this New Year.
Super-objective(s): I want Charles to improve his self-esteem.
Objective(s): I want Charles to lose 30lbs and to fit into last year’s clothes by January 2022 to achieve his super-objective.
Action(s): I want Charles to exercise daily, drink more water, and eat more balanced meals to accomplish his objectives.
The following is an action plan for the next four weeks that I want Charles to accomplish:
Week one
Exercise for 10 minutes every morning before coffee.
Set the alarm to go off every 90 minutes to remind me to drink a glass of water, which will also get me out of my desk chair to stretch a bit.
Week two
Exercise for 15 minutes every morning before coffee.
Set the alarm for every 60 minutes to remind me to drink a glass of water, which will also get me out of my desk chair to stretch a bit. Also, do ten air squats.
Week three
Exercise 17 minutes every morning before coffee.
Set the alarm every 50 minutes to remind me to drink a glass of water, which will also get me out of my desk chair to stretch a bit and do fifteen air squats and ten pushups.
Eat one meal each day containing only vegetables – no meat or simple carbs.
Week four – And so on…
Notice, this was only a plan for January. These actions can be revised and updated with each passing week or month. Trying to boil the ocean, as it were, can be overwhelming and may cause immediate mental and emotional burnout. Start with small, achievable actions, building on them as you go.
Tool(s): Charles will require willpower, desire, courage, a yoga mat, and a workout video for guidance to achieve his required actions. Also, Charles will need healthy food options and lots of water.
Obstacle(s): A possible obstacle that may prevent Charles from performing the above actions or proper use of the listed tools is the tendency Charles has for snoozing his alarm too many times, therefore running out of time before he needs to login to work. Also, Charles might become too sore from a previous workout and not want to face the discomfort. I have noticed Charles tends to say, “Oh, I’ll just do it later this afternoon,” but does not follow through on this pronouncement. Other possible excuse obstacles are Charles blaming his kids, the extra late night from which he is recovering, or just not being in the mood.
Note: By writing down the possible obstacles you may encounter along your journey, you are taking the first step to acknowledge your obstacles deliberately. Like emotions, when we can identify our potential obstacles with words, we feel over them a sense of ownership. When one feels they own something, they have the power to control it.
If you find this system successful, you might apply it to other life areas. It is an excellent process for clearly articulating the change you want, how you will get it, and for courageously identifying and combating its obstacles, both inwards and outwards. Give it a try and let me know how the system worked for you.
My Top Five Ideas for Your Next Resolution Revolution
One of the many advantages to beginning a New Year’s resolution is experiencing something new, something fresh, if only for the sake of creating a new normal. If you are at a loss for New Year’s resolution ideas, perhaps the following suggestions will provide some inspiration. Below are my top five 2021 resolutions for helping to create a new normal in these unprecedented times. Care to join me?
Note: The following suggestions, according to Stanislavski’s system, are merely objectives. It is up to you to find your super-objective.
Reinvent or redecorate your workspace Sometimes, just the slightest change can help us feel better and increase focus and productivity. Cleaning, reorganizing, hanging a new picture, or completely rearranging the furniture are just some of the ways you might create a new workspace. What can you do to freshen up your environment?
Declutter your digital space Digital clutter, such as a messy email inbox, a sloppy, file laden desktop on your computer, or an utterly neglected organization system for filing your documents or client records might be causing you subconscious anxiety. Your workspace’s tidiness is just as important in your quest for inner calm as a well-organized digital space. If digital decluttering has been on your to-do list, move it to the top. The payoff will be worth the invested time.
Reconnect with old friends, family members, and co-workers Traditionally sung by millions worldwide at the end of New Year’s Eve are the words penned by legendary Scotsman Robert Burns. His poem, “Auld Lang Syne,” remembers the old (auld) days and the many friends and acquaintances with whom we have lost touch. It is a toast to all who have helped us where we are today. The song is a beautiful remembrance and a display of gratitude as we sip from our cup of bubbly kindness, welcoming in a new year. For many, this past year has significantly, sadly, diminished our social circles as we face lockdowns, social distancing, and isolation from colleagues due to work-from-home requirements. Make it a resolution, a decision to reach out to one person a day for whom you have lost contact. Check-in with them to see how they are holding up and what they may be looking forward to in 2021. Reaching out to those who have drifted away from your friend circle is a compassionate gesture of gratitude. Also, as you reconnect, you will likely feel less isolated in this crazy world; For auld lang syne, my friends, for auld lang syne.
Reduce your carbon footprint In times of struggle or volatility, self-preservation tends to dominate our behavior. Difficult times can make it hard to act on behalf of the greater good. Taking even the smallest steps to help reduce your carbon footprint can help you remember your larger purpose, caring for others. Actions such as turning off the water while brushing your teeth, remembering to bring reusable bags to the grocery store, and walking or biking to nearby destinations when a car is not necessary might seem trivial in their environmental benefits, but not to you. If helping the environment is not motivation enough, remember why you help the environment – others. Helping the environment helps others, thereby allowing you to feel good about yourself and better connected to the outside world – a win/win!
Get more sleep For years, science has been trying to tell us the incredible health benefits of sleep, along with the dangers of poor sleep. Getting more sleep, however, is easier said than done. And getting uninterrupted, high-quality sleep seems like, well, a dream. However, getting more and better sleep must, somehow, be possible, right? To help achieve the sleep goal, we may be needing two primary objectives; to reinvent our nighttime and morning routines. There are dozens of online articles on these topics. For example, winding down your evening includes less screen time and dimmed lighting. Let us all try it for a while and see how better sleep impacts our lives, personally and professionally.
In closing
If there has ever been a year where a fresh start is so universally needed, it must be now. Wanting positive change and making positive changes can be worlds apart if you do not have a clear path to accomplishing your New Year’s resolutions. I hope that reading this blog has left you as inspired as I was when it was being written. I want this read to remind you of the joy and excitement new beginnings can provide, along with the kind of effort it will take to create a new normal. I hope you feel a sense of direction with Stanislavski’s system to put your resolutions into action. Finally, I hope you feel empowered by the word “resolutions” as it is you who gets to decide to create change for yourself. Your self-improvement will be contagious to others in the best sense of the word, pun intended.
David Marcotte, Head Coach of Marcotte Coaching, is a communication skills development specialist for corporate professionals. For nearly 20 years, through various topics such as presentation skills, storytelling, emotional intelligence, leadership, and team building, David has developed online and in-person learning to help professionals of all levels bridge the gap between oneself and others.
To book live, online soft skills classes with David Marcotte – visit the Complete Professional page of the Marcotte Coaching website. To read David’s other blogs and learn more ways Marcotte Coaching can help your organization thrive, visit us at www.marcottecoaching.com.
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