Why bringing (some of) your authentic self to work benefits ALL
You may have, at some point in your career, said to yourself something of this sort: “If only the people at work could know me better…know who I really am. I mean…my friends, neighbors, and family think I’m great! They think I’m smart, funny, strong, organized, and confident. I am a heck of a leader in my personal life! My coworkers just don’t see it.” If any of this sentiment rings true to you, you are not alone. There was a time when “professional presence” was encouraged to be a mask you wear, differentiating your work self from what you were like at home. To some degree, a small degree, perhaps this a good practice. However, more and more, we find ourselves drawn to truth over façade.
“Personal stamp” is just another way of referring to your uniqueness, persona, personality, authentic self, je ne sais quoi, etc. Your personal stamp is what differentiates you from everyone else, as nebulous as those differences may at first appear. Despite similar college degrees, experience, upbringing, fashion sense, age, or even an interest in the same sports teams, we are all unique. It is even possible that these intangible qualities of yours could have been the tipping point that got you your job over others in contention for your position.
Here is an example of a personal stamp in a work setting: Imagine that you and four other people on your team give separate presentations on the same topic, using the same slide deck, and to the same audience. What would happen? Ideally, there would be five vastly different presentations if everyone is letting their personal stamps shine.
Too often, personal and work personas are so disconnected from each other that the two never intertwine. We tend to be who we think others want us to be, rather than welcoming them in to meet YOU. By revealing more of your authentic self, your “personal stamp,” you will more easily build trust and credibility while also engaging audiences/team members during meetings and presentations.
Every Rose has its Thorn
Authenticity does NOT mean unfiltered. Not every thought or opinion you have needs to be said, nor does every behavioral impulse need to be exercised. Self-monitoring is helpful to everyone, now more than ever. Some of your criticisms and compliments might be considered more harmful than good. Is this filtering process the antithesis of revealing your authentic self, your personal stamp? No.
Several years ago, I joined together two close friends, Ravi and Lindell, who had not previously met. I later learned that the weeks leading up to this meeting, Ravi had been reading a book about being truthful and upfront with others; he was learning how to un-filter, to freely speak whatever was on his mind in an attempt to help others and himself. Lindell was a comparatively reserved individual. While sitting in a restaurant nearly two hours into the evening, in a supercilious tone, Ravi says, “Lindell, I think you’re boring and offer nothing to this evening. Why are you even here? Have you asked yourself this question at any point this evening?” This outburst caused an awkward and challenging moment, to say the least. I was embarrassed, and Lindell was hurt. Was this level of “truthfulness” helpful in any way? No.
We all have metaphorical thorns within ourselves, despite how awesome we are in general. Many of those thorns need not expose themselves publicly, for they will likely cause unnecessary pain to others. Remember, authenticity does NOT mean unfiltered. While at work, like in life, it is best to be your true self, but perhaps not ALL your true self. Kindness still matters.
Herd Mentality Vs. The Oddball
According to sociologists, psychologists, scientists, and historians, humans are a herd species with a herd mentality. For certain aspects of life, herd mentality can be a good thing as it helps create an organized and civil society more efficiently, for example.
A lesser-used word to describe this behavior is isopraxism. Isopraxism is behavioral mirroring. A micro-example for isopraxism is when two people are seated across a table from each other; eventually, the two people will display similar behaviors and body movements. On a macro scale, this tendency explains why we humans, within a culture or community, tend to dress alike, think alike, and believe much of the same ideas.
However, you do not need a sociologist to tell you that if it were not for the occasional oddball, those who think outside the box or behave differently, it is reasonable to assume that our quest for progress and innovation would be sorely handicapped. Think of every pioneer, innovator, philosopher, inventor, and nearly all historically significant leaders or activists you can imagine. One quality they usually share is that they strayed from the herd, somehow, someway. Sometimes these oddballs get odd looks from the rest of the pack. In the end, though, these oddballs often end up being the heroes of the group because they helped to propel progress, and even the direction of our species, in a more positive direction. As the flamboyant Irish poet and playwright Oscar Wilde once said, "Be yourself; everyone else is already taken."
In Closing
There is no expectation that we need to set ourselves up to be revered, lionized historical figures, but the spirit of the oddball is worth noting. Your inner oddball, your PERSONAL STAMP, has a purpose that can positively impact everyone with whom you work. Your odd quirks, eccentricities, opinions, and convictions are worth finally sharing with those around you, assuming they are positively communicated. This positive truth, your personal stamp, will usually draw more people towards you and your ideas, not against you.
David Marcotte, Head Coach of Marcotte Coaching, is a communication skills development specialist for corporate professionals. For nearly 20 years, through various topics such as presentation skills, storytelling, emotional intelligence, leadership, and team building, David has developed online and in-person learning to help professionals of all levels bridge the gap between themselves and others.
To book live, online soft skills classes with David Marcotte – visit the Complete Professional page of the Marcotte Coaching website. To read David’s other blogs and learn more ways Marcotte Coaching can help your organization thrive, visit us at www.marcottecoaching.com.